at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
