look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
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That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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