Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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