She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I don't deserve a penis
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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