Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
