Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
