I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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