so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
