U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
It's never too late to be topless.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
