I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
