Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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