I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
