I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
