If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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