Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
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Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
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Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
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He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..