I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize