i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things