the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!