So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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