i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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