Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize