she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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