problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
