she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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