Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
