**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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