They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Is it penis luge time yet?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
