we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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