well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
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I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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