im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
