And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
