Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
