All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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