I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
I need a burrito and a hug.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize