i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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