Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
