If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
