1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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