piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
