Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
