whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
