Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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