my phone needs a breathalizer
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
