That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
