using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
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At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
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Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.