woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
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She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
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One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever