Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha

  (1-760): View more from California

  I hate my life

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  (760): Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha (1-760): I hate my life http://tfl.nu/oavx
  Replies (12) Good night (582) Bad night (2966)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering

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  (713): PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering http://tfl.nu/lhmy
  Replies (39) Good night (704) Bad night (3415)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing

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  (646): I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing http://tfl.nu/0l5a
  Replies (15) Good night (1097) Bad night (4114)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.

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  (775): you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook. http://tfl.nu/f57q
  Replies (12) Good night (3647) Bad night (1403)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.

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  (937): The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it. http://tfl.nu/hbg0
  Replies (9) Good night (2505) Bad night (873)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.

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  (+44): That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard. http://tfl.nu/cdhm
  Replies (20) Good night (4861) Bad night (776)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL

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  (217): Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL http://tfl.nu/5sam
  Replies (7) Good night (1439) Bad night (509)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan

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  (717): I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan http://tfl.nu/f98a
  Replies (14) Good night (2152) Bad night (716)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head

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  (815): I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head http://tfl.nu/qmtv
  Replies (18) Good night (1344) Bad night (1832)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.

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  (865): I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night. http://tfl.nu/z7o8
  Replies (8) Good night (1047) Bad night (352)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.

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  (605): Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat. http://tfl.nu/bfhd
  Replies (6) Good night (740) Bad night (339)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next

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  (202): Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next http://tfl.nu/dw8t
  Replies (4) Good night (484) Bad night (718)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.

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  (720): I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver. http://tfl.nu/9cmy
  Replies (4) Good night (542) Bad night (290)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.

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  (860): My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude. http://tfl.nu/4dzv
  Replies (2) Good night (408) Bad night (328)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,

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  (+44): I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking, http://tfl.nu/4img
  Replies (1) Good night (563) Bad night (247)

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