I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Your cock deserves a montage
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
