Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
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