Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
