she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
