When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
