This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
