so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
