For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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