I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
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