He uses pillows to masturbate.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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