Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
