Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Are we still banned from the library?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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