Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
