so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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