You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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