I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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