Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize