They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize