I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
