i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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