Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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