Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize