You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
