Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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